My Dream Job…

Day Two and I almost forgot already. Eeks…Clearly I need to get with the program. (Or start scheduling some posts a day ahead of time so that I am on time!  LoL)

The Daily Tay

Day Two: What was your dream job growing up? And what is it now?

I think when I was growing up, I had a bunch of dream jobs. As a little kid, I thought for sure I wanted to be:

*A dolphin trainer–mostly in the summer, we spent a lot of time in the pool

*A Teacher–I can honestly say I had GREAT teachers growing up, which made me want to be just like them

*An Interior Designer–No idea where that one came from

*I wanted to work at the Post Office–that’s what one of my Grandma’s did, and I often got to hang out and help her

*I wanted to “count corn” –my other grandma ran a grain elevator and told us as children “she counted corn all day”

When I started going to High School and your “dream job” became a real thing, I wanted to be a teacher.  I actually started college with a teaching degree in mind. As part of a class I took, I had to work a few days at Easter Seals. While I adored the children, it broke my heart to have to work with them in ways that made them physically hurt. And I think it was at that point that I decided I couldn’t do it.  Stupidly, I stopped taking school seriously and never finished.

I think now, as an adult, I have two ‘dream jobs.’ One is realistic, I would like to be an office manager for a mid-level company. I have always liked the idea of office work, spreadsheets, note taking, and such. I have always thrived in an office environment. Additionally, I think I will always have the lofty dream job of owning a bakery  🙂

If I Won the Lottery….

I will always take a little help when it comes to blogging prompts. Not to mention, Im certainly trying to build my followers, so why not take part in a Month-Long LinkUp?! And its a FUN FUN FUN one to boot.

Turns out Taylor and Helene are sponsoring Blogtober14 this year in an effort to blog every day in October. Well, if ya know me at all…then you know my track record. And you know that there is no way that I will be able to cut it every day. But I will do my darn best to blog as much as I can, for sure. Plus, these prompts are the BEST, so I certainly don’t want to miss them!  🙂

The Daily Tay

Today the first prompt is “If I Won The Lottery…”

This is something that tends to come up a lot on long car rides and numerous times. DBE and I used to talk about it all the time. And ironically, Matt and I just had a conversation about it this weekend (around 2am when I should have been at home in bed instead of cuddled in “my” chair watching him play Xbox.) With that in mind, I actually have a list of things that I would like to do…starting with…

Start playing the lottery. Scratch offs, randomly…the actual lottery, never.  But, lets just pretend for a second…

— Buy gifts for the entire ‘Christmas Gift Tree.’ When I was little, all of us grandkids would go to KMart with my Grandma (she worked there) and we would pick out a handful of kids to buy gifts for. Never anything super extravagant or expensive. But always a toy, a winter coat and gloves. Mind you, my grandma raised her SEVEN kids virtually alone, on her single income after my grandpa passed away very, very young. So this was a big deal, money wise. I will never forget the impact that made on me as a child..seeing her do something so great. So I have always said that if I were to win, this would be the first thing I did.

— I would pay off my parent’s and my sister’s mortgage. As well as their vehicles. And I would make sure that my Grandma’s house and car are taken care too. And I would certainly pay for her cleaning lady from now on.

— I would book a crazy Caribbean vacation for myself and my friends. I mean, why not?!

— I would donate to a BUNCH of great organizations.

— I would buy myself a nice house and a nice vehicle. Nothing crazy…just nice and manageable.

— I would look into either adoption or whatever means necessary to get a little precious babes for me to raise, even if it means doing it on my own.

— I would purchase a small condo in Florida near my cousin Donnie. That way all of our family could head down and visit whenever they would like. (Even though Donnie would say that he wants us to stay with him!)

— I would NEVER wear the same pair of socks twice. 🙂  I hate wearing socks b/c I hate when my feet get hot. But NEW socks that are super tight are the best. So, it would be ALL new socks for me!

— I would take all of my family; aunts, uncles, cousins, etc on a trip somewhere for at least a long weekend.

— I would definitely go back to school and get my degree in business and then start working on the culinary program. That would ensure that I was well versed in how to open a bakery and make a profit!

— I would continue working, maybe not what I am doing now, but definitely something. There is no way I could just sit around and do nothing, I would spend entirely too much money.

And by that point…I would pretty much be outta money.  🙂    What would you do?

Yesterday was the Day.

See that period up there, after the title of this blog..? Its there for a reason. That reason, is, that the sentence is over after that. No excuses, no reasons, no ways around it, Yesterday was THE day. Wonder what its the day for?

For the start of getting my shit in gear. And by in gear I mean, getting it the heck outta here. I have been battling 11 pounds for far too long. Last summer when everything happened with the separation, I fell off the food wagon. As in, like stopped eating all together. NOT the best idea, but at the time, I just couldn’t muster a reason for eating (or sleeping or anything really.) Anyhoo, it caused me to lose a few pounds, which was nice. But I would really like to take care of some more.

Well since then I seem to have stopped at 211 pounds. As in, I haven’t really tried to lose it, but haven’t done much to keep it either. A few weeks ago, Faith got me thinking and I decided I would try dieting again “on the first of the month.” That’s typical right, isnt that what everyone says…at the start of the month, or year… aka “Some other time for sure.”

Fast forward a bit to the other night, my Uncle (who never really says much, let alone does he talk about the way that someone looks) said to me “Doneida, I can certainly tell that you are losing weight. Good Job!” I just kinda laughed. Hmmph, I hadn’t noticed and I surely wasn’t trying.  So, being the super proud, I hardly ever weigh myself, crazy self-conscious person that I am…I go home last weekend actually anticipating the idea of weighing myself, thrilled that I must have finally conquered at least part of the pesky 11 pounds. Sure enough, I weighed myself…215!!! How the hell did I GAIN!? Just like that, I made the choice that there would be one more week of eating whatever I want (also known as: theres no way in holy haities that I can start a diet the same day that I start my period) and then I would start dieting in one way or another.

Recently there has been so much talk about these ‘shakes’ and such. Well, this girl doesn’t have $100 to drop on shakes. And, well, I really like food. So, I decided that I am going to try Slim Fast shakes and see how that goes. I’m still eating, just not as much, like AT ALL.

The plan during the work week is to have a shake in the morning in exchange for breakfast. For lunch I am going to have a homemade meal of some sort. And for dinner, I am going to do a shake with either fruit mixed in or a shake with a small salad or cup of soup depending on the day.  On the weekends, for the most part I only have 2 meals so, I will be supplementing one of them with a shake and just make ‘smart choices’ when it comes to the other.

Now, I know that this is NOT going to make me drop 50 pounds. But hopefully it will help me to kick start things in the right direction and get me under 200. Additionally, with Fall coming, I want to get back to walking at least a few nights a week. And finally, gulp, I am going to cut out caffeine. I have done this before, and it seems to help a bit (once I get over the freaking headaches.) So, we will see where this gets me.

As fate would have it, Carolyn reminded me Friday about Monthly Motivation! So I thought I would go ahead and link up here and see if maybe some amazing, motivating friends could help me out. Plus, this is a good way to track my progress monthly. So why not, right?!

Life Love and Puppy Prints

While I despise the idea of posting a pic of myself on here (see above where I mention that whole self conscious thing,) I feel that its necessary to help me see how things are moving along, should I start to lose some serious weight here. Along with a pic, I will post my weight each month and hopefully we can all watch that number decrease!

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True Life..I’m Jealous

Do you ever catch re-runs of the True Life shows on MTV?! I remember when I used to pine for the need to be on one. Just the fun ones like “True Life: 21 and Married” or “True Life: My Husband’s an Immigrant” (Canadian apparently didn’t count to MTV.) I definitely didn’t aspire to be on the crazy ones like “True Life: Im 16 and Pregnant” or “True Life” Im Married in HS.” Although, I imagine that’s where the concept of Teen Mom came from! How bout it!?

Anyhoodles, I wasn’t going to blog today…Monday’s are tough behind the desk, and I am saving up some serious blogging for tomorrow!  🙂 And I have a ridiculous lack of caffeine induced headache that is kicking my bootay. But then I checked up on Whitney and caught up on Juliette‘s Blogs (yes, for the record the day is busy one…too busy to blog, but not to read blogs-hehe.)  And quite frankly, I am super jealous of them! With that in mind, I thought I would blurt out my current True Life: Aspiration.

I should make a quick point to mention that I am NOT jealous of the packing part!!! But the moving, count me in.

A large part of me would love to pack up my essentials and cross the country to start fresh somewhere new. I have actually tossed around the idea of packing up my things and heading to Florida to bunk with my cousin and his hubby for a while and trying to start anew down there. Quite the opposite of Whitney who is running away from the warmth and sunshine. Since the separation and divorce they have offered a few times to allow me to come down and get a fresh start down there. (PS…they are incredible guys!) I went down there in February for a long weekend to avoid the drama of having to deal with the settlement exchange (that never actually happened) and they both tried to convince me to stay. Even offering to back my baking business as investors if I were to get something started down there! See what I mean, incredible, right?!

At the same time though, the idea of leaving my friends and family here is terrifying. So, while I am envious of these ladies, I am also very proud of them for making this sort of change. I wish that I could find the nerve to do it. Kudos to them!!

The other part of the equation that makes me super jealous is that they are moving to be with/closer to their loves. All the while I am sitting here wondering what in the heck is going on with Sir.  We have been pretty wishy washy for the last few weeks. I would say its 50/50 both of our faults. He is still just separated with his..ex..I guess. And that bothers me to no end. While I know its not something easy, or something that ends overnight..I just wish every day that something would change there. And finally, I got sick of running myself through the ringer about it and ended things about 2 weeks ago. Since then we have: gone days without speaking, and then spoke hourly for the entire day, both said that we miss eachother, he’s asked me to meet up with him (I told him no), both talked about how much we would like things to be easier, and how much we would like things to work out with us. I spent most of last week in a funk about the whole thing, crying more than I would like to and whining like crazy to the few people the knew about him. Friday night I had a long night to myself, trying not to think about him at all, and partially accomplishing it.

I spent a good amount of time Saturday morning evaluating things and deciding that I was just going to let things be until I got a sign otherwise. Saturday morning, we were texting and he said that he was “sad that I couldn’t come over so we could chat.” Backstory…the boy NEVER talks, he holds his feelings in like no one I have ever known. The idea of him wanting to chat is huge. I dropped what I was doing and told him I would stop over. He made me promise ‘no sadness.’ The entire way there, I told myself that he was going to end things, that he had changed his mind and wanted to try one more time to make things work with his wife. I talked myself into remembering that THIS was the sign that I was looking for and whatever happened, I would be stronger and wiser because of it.

Long story short, sparing all the details. We did talk, I definitely said more than him, but he did talk to me, and that’s a win in my book. It went NOTHING like my pessimistic self had prepped for. He asked me for patience. He told me that nothing had changed with ‘us.’ He said that he missed me and that he does want to make things work. We both agreed that its not easy for either of us. He hugged me and kissed me and made me see stars. If this was my sign…I clearly need to be more specific when asking next time!  LoL I walked to my car more confused than I was when I got there.

I wish that I had a relationship that I was able to put my life on hold for. One that meant so much to me, well, to US that it was worth relocating. Which is ironic considering I said before the DBE and I ever got engaged that I would NEVER relocate to Canada. So, if that was something that was in the cards for him, long term…don’t bother buying a ring!  LoL  Who Knew?! With that in mind, I still don’t know if I could or would relocate for a guy. But I do know, that I would give just about anything to have the sort of love and relationship with someone that would make a decision like that worthy.

I was thinking the other day, after the ump-teenth person suggested that I consider ‘online dating,’… Ps…there are only about 4 people that know about me and Sir (and I think 3 of them hate the idea, and the other is ‘my person’ so he just hugs me and says to be careful, be happy and know that he will kill anyone that hurts me again. But he’s made it clear that he isn’t Sir’s biggest fan)…so everyone else has dating suggestions, advice, etc. And I would say that 8 out of 10 suggestion some sort of website. While, I have seen them work, and I know that people find their soul-mates, I just don’t think that I’m up for that just yet. But anyhoo, I was thinking about it the other day and it crossed my mind, that online dating would be the best way to meet someone far away, and potentially set my sites on a new location. About 2.5 seconds later, I realized how crazy that was, and that if I suggested to my Dad of all people that I was going to pick up and move to another state for a GUY, he may shoot him.  LoL

At the end of the day, I cannot wait to hear about the adventures that Juliette and Whitney have upon moving and re-starting their lives. I hope that one day I am as strong and lovestruck as they are!  🙂

Confess Again

So on Wednesday, I kinda snuck around the whole confession thing. So I thought I would revisit that today. And what’s more fun than coming clean on a Friday, right?!

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**I have a pretty laid back weekend planned, and I am only halfway stoked about it. Part of me is worried about sitting at home and having entirely too much time to think. Although, I am hoping to get a little time hanging out on a certain deck with some friends on Saturday.

**I loved the Grey’s premiere last night. However, I was NOT thrilled about the helicopter scene. I feel like it was super computer generated and I would expect more of them at this point in the game. Rent a rooftop and a helicopter and just do it!  🙂

**I may have confessed a bit ago that I ended things with Sir. And for the most part, I have. But dang it, I miss him more than I thought that I would. We have text..or texted (what IS the past tense?) a few times over the last couple weeks. I have never felt as good…or as bad as I did the other day when he wanted to see me.  😦 But, my goodness. What the heck am I thinking?!  I certainly hope that I can get over this, and soon. Otherwise, someone better do something about our situations changing, because I dunno how long I can take the feelings I have been dealing with.

**I think I am going to go and buy crayons and a coloring book today so that I can relieve a little stress tonight while I am working on baking orders. Seems silly, but anything to really fill the time right now.

**I have something (hopefully) exciting coming on Monday. I really need to make some changes in life, and I am looking forward to telling everyone about what I hope is going to be the first and ideally the biggest change.

**As far as changes, I have tossed around the idea of heading back to school. Not sure what for, exactly. So I guess I should put a little thought into that. Im not certain just yet, but I did apply or the FAFSA….baby steps, ya?

**Pumped for Fall TV. Heartbroken though that Big Brother is over. Although, I am so happy that the show ended exactly the way that I had hoped it would all along. Congrats to Derrick, and kudos to him for putting his life on hold to ensure a happy life for his wife and little baby girl!

**I just had my fourth anniversary at my job. Feeling a little cabin fever, but I really enjoy working here. And the ‘hidden perks,’ ie…fellow co-workers, understanding boss, ability to use this as a ‘meeting point’ for my other businesses. But I am especially happy about renewed vacation time. Now, I just want to use it! I have all kinds of things in mind that I could and would like to be using it for. But there is a trip to Las Vegas and (probably) Tennessee next summer that I should probably save it for. Boo!

**I started this month with TWO baking orders for the entire month. This is now the last weekend, and looking back, I have to work on Order #6 for the month! Not a bad deal if I say so! And the best part, I have THREE next weekend alone! Its been 4 years since I started this little venture. Though, this was NEVER what I had anticipated would come of that first Cakepop order!

Thankful Thursday

Another post prompted by the SITS girls! Today is my favorite of the week though.

Day Four : Ten Things You Are Thankful For

I like to think that I am a pretty blessed chickadee. I mean, I don’t have a million in the bank or a house/car that the Kardashians would be envious of. But I DO have an incredible family and amazing friends. I have an endless amount of love in my life, and even though its not coming from a hottie like Jason Aldean or ‘Kelly Severide’…I consider that love a win, in my book. With that being said, I have always been raised to be thankful for what I have. So this should be pretty easy.

Today and everyday, I am thankful for:

~one~
Being Part of a BIG, crazy family
Growing up, I always had someone to play with. That’s a guarantee when you have umpteen cousins running around. My mom had 6 siblings and I think they thought long and hard about the best time to have babies. All of us cousins were spread out pretty evenly. There was always a friend to play with, someone to babysit you…or someone for you to babysit, we rarely had to take the bus to school because one of us was old enough to drive. It was fun then. But now that we are getting older, it seems to mean so much more to have someone there to relate to, cry to and laugh with. When I got engaged, my cousin Nicole was one of the first people I called since then we stood up at eachother’s weddings, and talk all the time. When I found out about the DBE, my cousin Pat was the first person I wanted to talk to. He had been there, he knew what I was feeling, and what I needed to do next; even though I didn’t want to. When I realized that I was really getting a divorce, I had a handful of cousins waiting to hug me and wipe my tears, they were the same ones that I hesitated on telling, because I knew that they would kill Greg when they found out.  That’s what family is for, right?

~two~
Living in a State with Seasons
Sure…I always complain when there is too much snow, or the humidity is outrageous. And I whine when summer is taking too long to get here or sticking around too long in September. At the end of the day though, I love the changing of the seasons and don’t think I could get by without them. A girl gets bored too easy.  🙂

~three~
Becoming a Dog Mommy
In 2007, I became a dog-mommy for the first time when I got the DBE a pup for Christmas. He always wanted a black lab that he could name Duke. Once the potty training and carpet eating was over, it was SOO much fun being a dog-mom and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. When we lost Duke in Feb 2009, I thought the world was over. And then Minnie arrived that summer and everything changed. Duke was absolutely, a man’s dog. Minnie was this little, squishy sweet girls puppy! There are many days and nights now, where I sit back and realize that Minnie got me through some serious bad days. I love that little Goober and I can’t imagine my life without her!

~four~
Stuff and Things
I like to think that I am not superficial. But, seriously there are some ‘things’ I just couldn’t do without. My Cell phone, flip flops, my straightener, the DVR, my Kindle, McDonald’s Coke, and my Pampered Chef Small Scooper.  🙂

~five~
Having One (and only one) Sister
I say that because I don’t know that either of us, or my parents could have existed this long if there were more than two of us. We had the cliché 5 year difference sister relationship growing up… You know the one, where you despise each other 97% of the time and the other 3% is when your sister is at a friends house. But mostly, I say this, because now that we are 25 and 30…I don’t think I would want to share this ‘sister bond’ with anyone else. I love that she lives so close, I love that we spend so much time together and I love that I have been blessed with not only a sister but a best friend!

~six~
My newfound independence
Years ago, I would have thought that I was pretty independent and confident in doing things on my own. Now that I am where I am, I realize that I had no idea what I was thinking. It was a tough road getting here, and while I still have sad and bad lonely times… I am thrilled know that I can and will do it on my own. I enjoy a little me time and I enjoy being able to make my own plans, my own decisions and make my own little place in this world.

~seven~
GrownUp Friendships
I always used to wonder what it would be like to have adult friends…how the friendships would be different than those we had in high school. I am thankful that I have a handful of amazing people in my life to show me just how great grownup friendships truly are.

~eight~
My Amazing Role Models
I truly believe that you are a direct representation of the people who raised you. I thank my lucky stars every day that I was given the most incredible parents and role models known to man. They are two of the kindest, caring and appreciative souls that I know. They truly would give the shirt off their back to anyone in need without thinking twice. They are now, and have always been so in love and truly to find eachother to be the other’s best friend. They have paved the way for my sister and myself in so many ways. I am incredibly thankful that I have them to look up to when it comes to life, love and everything in between.

~nine~
12 years of being ‘one of the boys’
I used to joke that when I started dating the DBE, I also started dating his best 4 friends, Matt, Brock, Justin and Noah. We literally did everything with them. “Dates” consisted of dinner for 6, movies (which were rare) were all of us. Most nights we sat up and played cards until 4am. Looking back, it never bothered me. Now, I know that the reason it didn’t, is because I was forging a life long friendship with ‘the boys.’ I couldn’t be more thankful that through everything with the divorce, I never lost the boys. I was absolutely terrified that when the chips fell, they would be ‘loyal’ to their lifelong guy friend. Just makes sense, right? Turns out they are ‘loyal’ to friendship, rather than the fact that he’s a guy. At the end of the day, the reason they are no long friends with him is their deal. I just know that I would NOT be where I am if it weren’t for those boys! Unfortunately, Noah has moved to FL and we don’t get to see him often. And sadly, Justin hangs out with us from Heaven. But I talk to Matt daily and see Brock very often. These are truly some of the most important people in my life.

~ten~
The Blogworld
I love being able to scream and holler and rant without anyone knowing how incredibly loud I am being. I am blessed that I have a little corner of this blog world to call my own and I cant wait to make it just a little bigger.  🙂

What are you thankful for?!

Fall Photos & A Confession

First things First….Sorry I missed yesterday. I guess my Fall Funk got the best of me. I just haven’t been feeling myself the last few days. I’ve decided that I am not about to let it ruin my favorite season though. So..this is me, bucking up. I have gotten over bigger bumps, so this one will stand in my wake before I know it!  🙂  On the upside though, I don’t have a clue what I could have told you about my back to school memories. Nothing fun or exciting that for sure.

Day Three’s Blog Prompt is a Fall Photo! I wish I had remembered my phone at 6am this morning when I let my monster out! It was a perfect morning sunrise photo. The colors were glorious and super fall inspired. I will have to see if I can’t find someone around here that posted a pic on the book of faces, or insta. I just know that someone had to have.

Anyhoodles, I thought I would post two pics.

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This first one is a direct representation of Fall in my area. Its seems like this time of year is a rush to get all of the construction work done. It doesn’t matter where you are headed, you are bound to run into one of these super tan (Im jealous) people working their sign. They are currently redoing a stretch of about 15 miles of road around my house. I am forced to stop at least twice every morning before I can get to the Interstate.  Its getting pretty old!

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The second one is a sign of EARLY fall. I actually took this about a week ago, but we are in the middle of what I would guess is a late harvest this year. When I drive from my parents house to my house, it is ALL back country roads. And I love watching the colors of the land changing as we approach fall. While I am not a photographer by any means, one of my fave is to see the contrast of the fields and the super blue, sunny skies of Fall. The only thing that would make this better is if the tips of these beans had started to turn yellow.  ❤  Geeky Country Girl!

Oh…and looky here. I found someone that did post a pic of our pretty fall sky. Not the best pic, but hey, beggars thieves, can’t be choosers, right?

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So with that in mind, since its also Midweek Confessions..I would also like to confess that sometimes I steal pics from other peoples facebook! Not the personal pics, just the pretty ones, or the quotes, ecards or funny gifs.  🙂

Vodka and Soda