This is an easy one…
“Everything happens for a reason”
I have believed this for as long as I can remember. Sometimes, its a good thing, sometimes its a bad thing. I tend to argue with the statement, but at the end of the day, there has got to be a reason, right?! I realize that its not always a good one, not one that everyone agrees with and sometimes, we don’t even know the reason. But just think, if one little thing were changed at any point, your life would be completely different than it is.
Last summer, after DBE and I separated, I struggled a lot, obviously. But I knew that at the end of the day, there HAD to be a reason for why this was all happening. I still don’t know that reason, mind you. But, I wanted to do something to recognize the fact that my entire life was changed, and I WAS going to be okay. I was going to power through and be stronger in the end. I spent a lot of time thinking over those few months. I thought for a bit, that my life would never be okay, that I would never move on from the way that I was feeling.
At some point, I realized that the world was NOT over. That I was strong enough to move on, on my own. And a big part of the reason for that was my grandmothers. Both of them were married, and had kids, 9 between them. And while their kids were still very small, they both lost their husbands. My Grandma Millie raised her two kids on her own, working full time as a mom and full time managing a Grain Elevator for a great deal of her life. Now, she is still tough, loves her kids, and her grandkids and actually takes care of her Sister-in-law. My Grandma Brust raised SEVEN kids mostly on her own. My Grandpa passed when she was actually pregnant with my Aunt. She was a mom full time, and worked full time at the local Post Office for years before ‘retiring’ from there. Then she worked nearly full time at KMart for years before ‘retiring’ again. When she passed away in 2004, she was still cleaning houses and taking care of laundry for a great deal of people in town. These ladies are the definition of independence.
I think is absolutely ignorant that they lost their true love’s so early. But I think that by losing these amazing men, they showed many people, like me, that I can survive. That I can be strong and independent!
This spring, using both of my Grandma’s handwritings, I finally found a way to signify the way my life had been changed and to remind myself that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for, and that in the end, everything DOES happen for a reason!