I Confess…

…I’m a murderer. At least I hope I am anyways.

Vodka and Soda

I’m guessing the look you have on your face is the same one that the new guy (also my cube-neighbor) had when I just rolled my chair, very quickly towards our window at work with a shoe, ruler and Lysol in tow proclaiming “I am going to KILL it!!!!”

We’ve had a visitor for the last week or so. He doesn’t have a name…I lovingly refer to him as “the damn cricket.”  Probably one of my biggest annoyances, is the chirping of a cricket. I literally cannot focus on ANYTHING as long as there is something chirping.  So, dude got IN the building and his wicked little chirp is SO much louder from inside.


I have been complaining about him all week. To the point that the new guy is joshing me about bringing in a box of crickets and hiding them. I made sure to let him know that I would light the box on fire….so hopefully he isn’t in the mood for s’mores in the near future.

This afternoon, Damn Cricket was on a roll. He was loud and proud and I was in a manslaughter mood. There is a spot in the outside wall of the building that leaks when it rains, we call it our lake. (We aren’t in the ghetto, I swear. We just rent office space.) Well this is also the space where DC likes to hang out. Makes sense due to the dampness in there. Yesterday, DC was out chirping and when we went over, he kicked his tail back into the wall so we couldn’t get to him. So today, I rolled over and he just stared me down. I saw this as a challenge!!

I went back to my desk and gathered my supplies. Shoe for stomping, Ruler for poking (when he jumps back into the wall) and Lysol for poisoning..should he get away.

Of course, by the time I got over there wimpy DC scurried back just inside the trim of the wall so that I couldn’t stomp him. By this point, I was violent, annoyed and hungry..but that’s a different story. I kicked the wall a couple times, shoved the ruler in there to be sure that I got to him and promptly sprayed the dickens outta the Lysol into the wall.

I haven’t heart a peep…or a chirp since.  Except for my neighbor, he quietly proclaimed, “I dunno how I feel about this new neighbor!”  I told him as long as he doesn’t pick up a chirp while he’s in AZ this weekend, we will both be just fine!  🙂



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