long back story…
At 20 when your only seriously, serious boyfriend hands you the most sparkly ring you have ever owned it certainly changes your life. I was truly in love, and couldn’t wait to change my name and start playing house with my husband. Something else that I loved..the word ‘husband’ and the fact that I would have one! I was on cloud 9, certainly this was just the beginning of my happily ever after. A perfect fairytale that came true.
Okay..so I wasn’t quite that naïve, even at 20. I knew that there were all kinds of odds against us:
-We were YOUNG, I was 20 and he was just 21.
-He was an import. You know, kinda like, the special edition, high dollar, fancy cars. Except he was a guy, not a car. 🙂 Canadian to be exact. And he was still working on his legalization papers. So that was a HUGE hurdle in itself. Not to mention that most of his family were still living there.
-We had never lived together…and wouldn’t until the big day. I know that some see this as a norm rather than a negative like I did. My parents did, there would be NO talk of living together until we were married. It seemed like a hurdle to me, at 20, I mean, I knew everything. Not to mention we didn’t have a house of our own (and wouldn’t until 60 days after the wedding) and only one guaranteed income due to that whole “legal” thing with his immigration.
-We didn’t start on the best ‘terms.’ he had previously dated my best friend. There was no cheating or anything like that. Just a gross lack of respect and ‘girl-code’ on my part. It caused a HUGE rift in my friendship with her…one of the VERY few regrets I have thusfar in my life.
-Our families were skeptical. I think they were anyways. And looking back, they had every reason to be. 20 is very young to be getting married I think.
I think most kids imagine their 21st birthday being CRAZY! Lots of drinking, partying and certainly not acting responsibly. Mine was spent setting up tables at a reception hall, dinner with a great deal of my (helpful, volunteering and amazing) family and friends, tuxedo pick ups and getting sick in the Target bathroom. I was nervous…NOT drunk. So it wasn’t the party that I had always dreamt of, but to me, it was perfect. I couldn’t wait to be married.
5 days after my 21st birthday I had the BIGGEST birthday I could imagine…300+ of my closest friends and family showed up to celebrate with me! My ‘big’ birthday gift was a new last name. It was simply perfect.
I guess I should give my husband a name….lets just call him G. We moved in with his Mom and Stepdad until we could find a place of our own. Which was tough considering he was working for a family friend 2.5 hours from home and was gone Mon-Fri. But two months later, we found ‘the perfect’ place. A little duplex close to my work, and reasonable distance from both of our families. Life was great.
It wasn’t long after we moved into our own house that immigration stuff started to fall into place. I say that…but in real life, it felt like it was taking FOREVER, costing a TON and was causing minor panic attacks for me on the regular. It was all worth it eventually though. Once G was legal to work in the US and the stress of him residing here was gone, we knew that we would start a family…asap.
We had a plan, 3 kids, all before either of us were 30. That meant we had about 8 years. Sounds Perfect. Young, Cool, Fun, Understanding, Lenient and Present parents. We wanted to be there for everything from day one until the Great-Great Grandkids were here. So why wait, lets get started NOW!
I got off birth control immediately, disheartened by the fact that it could take a YEAR for it to leave my system. A whole year, that was not part of the plan. We were sad that it could be that long before we were parents..something we both wanted so badly. But, we still had plenty of time for the perfect family.
Fast Forward 5 years…we had rented in 3 houses in those 5 years and we were over it. 2 months before we celebrated our 5th anniversary we BOUGHT a house. It was in the perfect location (read: small town, friends and family close, 15 minutes from McDonalds or WalMart LoL.) It had a garage, big fenced in yard, and was move in ready. Did I mention it was huge?? 2,008 square feet, 4 bedrooms! FOUR!!! Perfect for 3 kids, right?
…to be continued